I have not written anything in a long time. I have not posted anything here for a long time.
I feel stupid for being so self-centered. There are people in the world who has it much worse than I do, there is a global pandemic for heaven’s sake, people are dying. There are all these important topics in the world which needs to have everyone’s attention.
I have been telling myself that it is selfish of me to post about my mental health and my struggles, because it is not important. There are other things that is more important then me sitting and writing and posting it on this blog. Right now, as I am writing this, my mind is telling me that it is stupid, and that I am stupid for even trying to write anything. I cannot write anything of importance, so I stopped writing. I listened to the self-deprecating side of me that told me that I should not write anything. But here is the thing, writing helps me, a lot. It helps me figure out my thoughts, feelings and it helps me reflect on the things that have happened in my past and what my dreams and goals are.
So here the facts that I set up:
- Yes, there is a lot of serious things happening and a lot of important discussions have finally blown up.
- Yes, my mental health is important, for me. Mental health is important for a lot of people during this time.
- No, I am not selfish for writing and posting on this blog. And let us be real, there are probably not going to be a lot of people reading this (to anyone who is reading this, I really appreciate it!)
I have decided to make a deal with myself, I am going to write, I might never post this anywhere, but I am still going to write. Because it is okay for me to share what is going on in my life, and I think I need writing in my life to get through it. Especially right now. Okay, let me rephrase that, I need writing to help myself get through the though situations and the rough patches, but also during my good times.
So welcome to this new chapter. A lot has changed since the last time, both good and bad. I guess I should start out with catching you up on everything that has been going on. It will be too much to tell you about everything in this blog post but long story short, then I had an awfully bad mental breakdown, and I ended up getting diagnosed with severe OCD.
In the next post I will tell you more about what has happened during these past 6 months.
Until next time!