New Years Eve

Hi everyone,

Happy New Years! I hope you will have an amazing new years eve, no matter how you choose to celebrate this evening. I have always felt like there is a lot of pressure surrounding New Year’s Eve, you need to really celebrate this evening and it needs to be with lots friends and you need to go to a big party and when the clock strikes midnight you need to kiss a special someone. I have always felt like New Year’s Eve needs to be like that perfect Instagram picture or Pinterest board, and if you are not trying to make New Year’s Eve an event like that perfect Pinterest board, then you are a failure and a loser. That is at least how I felt about New Year’s Eve.

Last year I felt so bad because I was in a really deep depression and I decided that I wanted to spend New Year’s Eve with my 1,5-year-old niece. I had a very relaxed night and I loved spending time with my niece, but even though I had a nice evening I still felt like a failure and a loser, it felt like I was living the most pathetic life and if other people could see me, then they would feel sorry for me. But as I have grown and improved my mental health this past year, then I am starting to realise something: it does not matter what other people think, and I should not live my life based on what society thinks I should do and what I think I am supposed to do.

This year I have decided that I would like to stay at home on New Years Eve, I want to eat some good food, watch the Queen of Denmarks New Years Speech, maybe watch a movie or read a book, and if any of my close friends or family wants to come over, then they are more than welcome to do that. But it is going to be a very chill and relaxing night. The most important thing I am going to do both before, during and after New Year’s Eve is:

I AM NOT GOING TO FEEL BAD OR QUILTY AND I AM NOT GOING TO FEEL LIKE A FAILURE OR A LOSER FOR DOING WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME!

I am coming to terms with the fact that anxiety is a part of my life, and it might always be a part of my life. But I no longer want to feel bad because I make choices which are better for me. If I were to go out clubbing and celebrating New Year’s Eve like I did a few years ago, then I would not have a good time. I would have to drink a shit ton of alcohol to numb the anxiety the fireworks and the big crowds there would be everywhere, and that does not sound nice to me anymore.  And since I do not drink alcohol anymore, then an evening like that sounds like a nightmare.

This year I am really looking forward to New Year’s Eve because it is going to be how I want it to be and I am hoping that I am going to have a great night without any anxiety attacks.

My main purpose with this post is to just to let anyone who is like me know, that there is no right way to celebrate New Year’s Eve and if you are an introvert like me who just wants to stay at home in your pyjamas with a few good friends, then that is okay. Please don’t feel obligated to celebrate this evening in a certain way just because everyone else is doing that. If you want to go and watch the fireworks and clubbing then you should defiantly do that, but if you don’t want to do that then that is also okay.

Please be safe and have a happy New Year!

Until next time!

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