If you have not read my previous blog post “What Helped Me Get through My Depression”, then I would recommend you reading that post before you read this post!
There is a link to the post right here:
As I mentioned in the previous blog post, then I would like to tell you a bit more about what have helped me through my depression and in this post I would like to tell you a bit more about Thought Field Therapy or TFT. I am going to start with putting a link to a site which can provide you with more information about TFT, because I am not an expert in the topic, therefore I am only going to share my experience with TFT.
The first time I was introduced to TFT I think I was around 13 or 14 years old, and I had just been diagnosed with a depression for the first time. At that point I had one TFT session, but it did not help me. I think there are two reasons TFT did not help me back then:
- I was not ready to start the healing and work through the pain,
- and I was not open for this type of treatment.
After the TFT session I had when I was a teenager, I just tried to forget it happened, because subconsciously it made me aware of some deep wounds I had tried so hard to forget and I was not ready to heal yet. A few months ago I was reintroduced to TFT again. This time it was a bit different though, because I was the one who did a bit of research about TFT, and I was the one asking questions and ultimately I was the one who asked the women who makes these sessions if I could get an appointment. I think the reason I have had such great success with TFT this time is that I was the one who made the decision that this is something I wanted to do and because it felt right to ME.
How has my experience with TFT then been? So far it has been really good, super scary but good. Up until now I have only had two sessions, but I can already feel the difference and I could feel the improvement right after the first session.
During the first session we worked with two of my anxiety triggers. The first trigger we worked with is driving in a car. Before the session I had really bad anxiety attacks whenever I was driving a car or being a passenger in a car and I would scratch my left hand to a point where I would start bleeding. The second anxiety trigger we worked on was going to a supermarket or a mall. I have always had some anxiety about going to supermarkets or malls, but since august it has progressively gotten worse and in the end I would break down whenever I thought about going to a supermarket and I was only able to go to one specific shop in the end.
When I got home after the TFT session I was so surprised with myself, because I drove home by myself without having any signs of anxiety AND I was able to go to a busy supermarket on the way home without sitting in the parking lot convincing myself that nothing would happen if I went into the store. I just parked the car and walked in there. I mean I still don’t feel great about driving when it is dark and/or raining but I don’t scratch myself, cry or feel like I am about to throw up and die anymore and I can do it. And I can go into a supermarket, even though there is a lot of people there, and my heart rate will only increase slightly, but I can do it without feeling super anxious.
After the first session I felt like I could breath for the first time, without it being a struggle. It was so amazing that I could take a deep breath all the way down in my stomach without it being an issue. It felt like I have been holding by breath for so long and I finally got to take my first breath.
In the second session we worked on some very deep and heavy stuff which I have been caring around for 10 years. This session was very draining, because I have never talked about one of the traumas before, and I do not think anyone knows about this. The truth is that I am not ready to talk about what happened, but I needed to heal, and that is why TFT works for me, because it is not required the I talk about the problem, it is my decision what I want to talk about. I walked into the session feeling really good, but I walked out of the session with so much pain in my neck and shoulders. I was told that it is because I have finally let go or found peace with these two things, and I therefore no longer have to carry them around on my shoulders. And ever since I had this session, I have been feeling more at peace with who I am, and I have finally been able to forgive myself and the other people involved.
So why does TFT work for me now, when it did not work for me when I was 13-14 years old? Well I have obviously gotten older, and I am now 10 years older and I am finally ready to heal and get better. As I mentioned earlier, then it was MY choice to try TFT which I also believe is an important part of my healing process. Because I am finally doing what feels right to me and not what I think I am supposed to do. But I think the biggest difference is that I am now aware of the root cause of my problems, and I kind of know what I need to work on.
It is important to mention that all the therapy sessions I have had throughout the past year has helped me a lot, and they have helped me become more aware of what my issues really are and what the root cause to some of them are.
There are probably some of you who are sceptic about TFT and whether or not it really works, and I know that there is a bit of controversy/critique surrounding TFT, but you know what? If you have an open mind to it then it MIGHT work for you. Some people I have talked to about TFT have told me that it is just the placebo effect that makes it work for you and it is not real. And if I am being honest I don’t care if it is the placebo effect or a fucking unicorn, because it works for me and it has helped me so much. And I know it might not work for everyone, but it works for me.
I do feel a small setback though, but I feel confident that I will be able to work through it in my next sessions!
Until Next Time!