When I first started writing this blog, I had one topic I knew I would like to write something about. This was topic was about removing negativity from my life, and especially removing negative people from my life. I would still like to talk about this, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that there is more to the story than I first realized.
“Negativity is a very nasty and contagious disease. Remove yourself from all negative people, situations, and things. choosing to be positive will help you maintain a better attitude, better health, and mind set. “Jefroy Hanson
For a long time, I have had trouble with choosing friends who are good for me. I have made it a habit to choose friends who brings a lot of negativity into my life or choose friends who made me feel shitty about myself and just makes me feel super negative about other people, them, myself and just life in general. For the longest time I didn’t know I was doing this, and allowing other peoples negativity to have such a big impact on my life. I know this is also partially my own fault, because I let it continue, and I let the same people continue to affect me in a negative way.
As I mentioned, I didn’t know I didn’t know I was allowing this negativity in my life, until I went to New Zealand on exchange. In New Zealand I was surrounded by friends who made me feel amazing, they brought so much positivity into my life, and for the first time I was feeling amazing about myself, and I generally just had a positive outlook on life. Then I came back to Denmark, and after a couple of months I realized that how bad my “friends” actually made me feel, but I didn’t know what to do about it. I have never been a person with a lot of close friends, I have always just had my parents, siblings and then a hand full of friends who I considered to be my main people. When I first realized the amount of negativity I allowed in my life, I didn’t know what to do and to be honest I got really scared, so I ignored it, and that was one big mistake.
You see, the thing is, once you realize someone isn’t treating you right, it becomes the main focus of everything you do. I went from being blissfully unaware of what was going on, to realizing it wasn’t good for me but still ignoring it, and at one point I reached the breaking point, and let’s just say I don’t have a good feeling about how everything ended with some of the people.
But in the end, I did remove these friends from my life, and it was the scariest but also the most liberating feeling I have ever had. The scary thing about it was that I had lost some of my closest friends and I no longer felt like I had any friends. But it was also very liberating because I finally realized that I was worth more than having friends who brought negativity to my life and made me feel bad about myself. I don’t know if this makes any sense to you.
What I have written so far in this post is more or less what I originally had thought about writing. However, I have been thinking a lot about this, and my own part in everything to figure out how I don’t end up in the same situation again. The biggest thing I have realized is that I never really allowed the people that used to be my “friends” to truly be my friends. What I mean by this is, that I never really opened up to any of them, and none of them got to know the real me. I was to scared to be judged, and I just didn’t feel confident about myself, and I thought I was a mind reader so I thought I knew how people were going to react to the real me, and therefore I choose not to show anyone the real me. Newsflash, I can’t predict the future or read other people’s minds.
Every time I go through something in my life, I like to reflect on what my part of the problem was and figure out how I can avoid ending in the same situation again, and just learn from it. What I have learned from this specific situation is my self-worth, now I know how I deserve and want to be treated by my friends, future boyfriends and just people in general. But I have also learned that I need to become better at trusting people, and let them in, not just allowing them to see the good parts I want to show them but allowing them to be there on the bad days and see me at my worst. I have absolutely no idea on how I am going to do this, but I am going to at least try and be myself and voice my opinions and thoughts. And now I have the knowledge that the people who are meant to be in my life are going to love every part of me even if I don’t agree with them.
I have been a bit nervous about writing anything about this topic, because I didn’t want to offend anyone. I have been concerned about writing this blog post because I was nervous about my old friends reading this and react to it in a negative way. But they are probably not going to read this, but if any of them are, then thank you for being a part of my story and making me grow as a person ❤️
“Letting go of negative people doesn’t mean you hate them. It just means that you love yourself.”
Just to make one thing clear; I am not saying that these people are bad people, they just weren’t the right people for me.
But now I am in this weird stage of my life, where I don’t really have that many friends right now and that is really scary. And I am actually quite nervous about how I am going to make sure I get friends who will bring positivity to my life.